A Hero's Heart
by Somnos
Summary: You either die the hero or watch yourself become the villain.
1. I'd Prefer the Ragnarok

Eventual SxS, pre-established SqxR. A one-shot that pulled at my heartstrings and got away on me. I'll update weekly.

 _'Text'_ Is speech between GF and Squall, which is non-auditory.

Perspective is Squall, but end tidbits are either third person or someone else. These end bits were not originally included in the text and are there for readers understanding plot points better. They can be skipped if you prefer to do so. Enjoy!

 **I'd Prefer the Ragnarok**

It had been three months since Ultimecia had been defeated. Summer was nearing its end and it was only weeks away from my 18th birthday. I gave a sigh at the thought, Rinoa wanted me to have a party, bring the gang back together to celebrate like we did after the final battle.

Other than Rinoa and Zell, everyone else in the gang had left Balamb. After the celebration party, I had Xu approve the restoration of Trabia Garden. Selphie bounced around me for hours once she found out, not letting up until I gave into her demands and let her head the operation. Irvine followed her to Trabia and I hadn't heard from them since. Galbadia Garden ended up abandoned off the coast of Centra and when we came up on it, Quistis took it on herself to manage that Garden, needing a bigger problem than me to fix.

But, I wasn't in Balamb much either. I was fortunate that Xu was taking care of the administration at Garden, but I was running around dealing with the Lunar Cry incident – through Xu, Laguna had hired SeeD to clean up the city and surrounding areas. He had asked for other SeeDs to be assigned, but no one else was available or willing to go fight Malboros, Iron Giants, and the like so here I was, getting ready for another evening alone in the Ragnarok.

"Ragnarok, do you read? I repeat, Ragnarok, do you read?"

The device at my side was going off. I didn't know how it worked, but it had something to do with radio waves. The Estharians wanted to get a hold of me whenever they wanted so their technicians installed a system on the ship that allowed messages to come through on this pager sized speaker that I hooked to a belt loop. With a stretch, I forced myself out of the bed I had put in the lower cabin of the ship, making my way up to the bridge above and the pilot's seat to respond back.

"This is Ragnarok." I stated bluntly in reply. I was tired and the display in front of me was shinning August 2nd, 10:01pm Esthar Standard Time (EST) in my face.

"Ragnarok, you have an incoming transmission from Balamb Garden. Do you accept the call?"

I gave an extra blink at that, he now had my full attention. I hadn't heard from Rinoa in a few days, so it was probably her calling. With radio waves working again communication over distance was much easier. However, people, specifically Rinoa, had forgotten that time differences still in fact, did exist. In Balamb it would have only been early afternoon.

"Yes."

"Copy that, Ragnarok."

A short few clicks followed before the excited voice of the brunette I hadn't seen for over two months came on the air.

"Squall? Hi!"

"Hi."

"I have an idea!" That. That meant trouble. Any excitement I had had before of talking to this woman that I adored completely vanished. Rinoa's ideas in the past two months ranged from me quitting SeeD to her making the trip to Esthar by foot to me going shopping for her in Esthar. None of those were things I even vaguely considered. I didn't bother responding. After a brief pause, Rinoa continued.

"So…I know you have a lot going on right now and I know you can't come see me, but you've been alone for a long time and could use some company." I put my forehead down to my hand. I could already feel the annoyance starting.

"Laguna said he had a lot to talk to you about before we fought Ultimecia, you should go talk to him." This particular idea had come up multiple times in the first couple weeks I was in Esthar before I started cutting the call and she got the hint it wasn't something I was interested in talking about. It wasn't something I was ready to entertain. Everyone spoke highly of Laguna, but just like the friends I had made through the war, I was scared of the what if's that surrounded that situation. Rinoa knew that and for a while I thought she had respected that I needed to do things at my own pace. If it wasn't for the fact that I hadn't talked to her in a few days, I would have probably dropped the call right there.

"Hear me out. Caraway reached out to me today and I really don't want to go see him either. But, whenever it comes up you always tell me that if I want you to go talk to Laguna that I should go talk to Caraway. So I'm going to go to Deling City, and I want you to go talk to Laguna!"

I had kept saying that to Rinoa because I didn't think she'd go talk to Caraway. It was a way to get her to leave me alone on the subject. I had effectively shot myself in the foot because now if I didn't go it would turn into an argument. More so than the very angry callbacks from Rinoa from dropping her call when this subject had come up. While I was good at battle strategies, Rinoa was far better at any social strategies.

"…I'll consider it."

"I'm going to call you tomorrow and I hope you've gone and seen him by then."

I could hear the pout she was making. I was too tired to deal with this. It was 10 o'clock and I was working at light break the next morning. After taking a breath to steady myself from any visible frustration, I spoke the words that I knew I would regret the second I said them.

"That's not going to happen."

"Why? You're so frustrating! Just go see Laguna!"

To which, Rinoa promptly hung up. It was a bit surprising when she did, having only been a habit in the past month. Before, when she got angry she would stay on the call till either I hung up, and she would call me back, or she would stay on the call and keep arguing till I gave in or gave a compromise.

I looked up out at the starry sky, not seeing the ground below since the Ragnarok was in a dead still hover several thousand feet up. I considered my options. I wanted to get some rest, to let this blow over, but I knew that Rinoa was serious about calling the following day. There was a very large part of me that wanted to sink my heels in and resist this. But, I really cared for this woman. I went out to space on a dying mission to save her and broke however many Estharian laws following that to keep her from being sealed. If this would make her happy then visiting Laguna was what I would do.

The main issue was that I didn't know when Rinoa would call. I likely wouldn't have time to see Laguna the next day before Rinoa called, but the chances of him still being awake by the time the Ragnarok would make it into the capital were unlikely. It was over half an hour of flight time. Regardless, I found myself pulling the Ragnarok out of her hover and towards Esthar.

By the time I reached Esthar I could feel my body giving me resistance to stay awake. Fighting monsters gave adrenaline, but the purr of the ship's engines were far too soothing to keep a strong focus. I was thankful to have the flight over with. I drug myself across the ship to leave it, only stopping when I reached the exit. It was a bad habit, I know I didn't need to arm the ship when I was in the city, having cleared out the capital as my initial task, but I called Quezacotl to the forefront of my mind regardless.

 _'Quezacotl, junction to the Ragnarok.'_

The outside of the Ragnarok shimmered with a yellow tint, the electricity on her outer hull becoming apparent as the bird junctioned itself to it. At first it was an experiment to see if a GF could junction itself to an inanimate object, but it seemed to be working out fine. She could still communicate to my mind if I was close enough to the ship and Quezacotl could control the electrical parts of the ship if I was willing to replace a few fuses.

With the lifts working in the capital again, I made it to the Presidential Palace in reasonable time. I checked my watch to see 10:55pm. The city itself was still bustling and I envied how these people could be out so late and be functional. The pit inside my stomach was growing as I made my way on the lift up to the inner regions of the palace. I didn't know what to say or do if I was able to get an audience with Laguna. I still hadn't decided if I wanted him in my life or not. Despite my friends' expectations and requests to let him in it was my own choice that I hadn't settled on.

The pit only grew when I came face to face with the clown, dressed proudly in an abomination of grey fluffy pajama pants with moogles on them and a tan t-shirt. If black leather had an opposite, Laguna's entire wardrobe would be it. Laguna looked tired but chipper as he offered a greeting, talking with his hands waving excitedly.

"Hey! Squall! What brings you here?"

"I need to talk to you." I offered flatly as if it wasn't the most obvious reason why I would be here. Laguna promptly broke into a dopey half smile, as if misinterpreting what I was saying.

"Y-yeah. Is there a problem?"

I scowled at the man and crossed my arms before looking away. I was starting to wonder if there should be a problem.

"No."

"Oh. Well, in that case follow me." Laguna started walking away, noticeably nervous as he limped slightly with his nervous leg cramp. I dashed a bit to catch up with him, not expecting him to have moved so quickly, and when I did he continued, now anxiously scratching the back of his head. "Can I get you anything? Tea? Hot Cocoa? Food?"

"No."

Admittedly, I wasn't giving him much to play with, but the nervous 'ahhhh' that Laguna gave off did nothing to help my nerves either. We walked a short distance to a room that looked like a living space. A leather couch and two recliner chairs were in a line near one side of the wall, with a coffee table near the foot of the couch. A screen was mounted on the opposite wall, not too far from an opening that led to a large kitchen. Various other accessories were strewn about, and it was obvious that Laguna had a designer that had done this area, most likely not Estharian.

Laguna grabbed a spot on the far side of the couch, putting his arm up on the back and getting himself comfortable. Briefly, I considered grabbing a spot in one of the chairs or just standing but I followed Laguna's suit and sat on the opposite end. There was a pause then, and the tension was enough to make Laguna wriggle around to try and get more comfortable while I looked down, contemplating on why I decided to spend my evening this way.

"What did you want to talk about?"

That broke me off from my thoughts and I looked Laguna in the eye. I noticed I swallowed hard at that. I could tell that he knew what I wanted to talk about, but it seemed he had the same amount of hesitation towards it as I did and giving the subject the authenticity of saying it out loud was going to bring the uneasiness to life. I did what I could to steady myself, looking away while keeping myself as stoic as possible.

"You said you had a lot of things to talk to me about."

Laguna began to scratch the back of his head again before getting a sense of unknown confidence from who knows where to start talking.

"Y-yeah. You know Raine and I, uh, we were married, kind of. When I sent Elle back to Winhill I should have gone back with her. When Raine passed I didn't know why, no one in Winhill was going to let me know, but Elle told me. She died from childbirth and the people in the village voted and decided to send both Elle and our child to an orphanage. They filled out the birth certificate with Raine's maiden name to try to hide it from me."

Laguna was talking fast enough that I didn't interrupt, even if I already knew most of these things. What I didn't know I had mostly pieced together. It seemed talking helped calm Laguna down, so not interrupting probably wasn't the worst thing. I started to relax as he was going over things. As much as I wasn't fond of Laguna's attitude, he was good at making others feel comfortable.

"I was in contact with Cid and Edea for a bit, making sure Elle was okay. My job kept me here, and it sounded like she would be a lot happier and get what she needed from Cid and Edea more than if she was here, I didn't have any spare time. If I had any I would have went and seen her. That and with Odine here it wasn't an option.

Cid and Edea had told me that a baby had come with Ellone to the orphanage, one that had Raine's maiden name, Leonhart. I put two and two together, I'm sure you have. But they said Elle was so attached and with everything going on in Esthar, I couldn't leave. I didn't have time or the resources for either of you so I did what I could and I sent gift packages and funds to the orphanage. I heard it helped with building the ship Elle was on."

I stopped dead for a second before the entirety of that statement had computed and a scowl appeared on my face. I could feel my mind recoiling at the information, that Laguna knew years ago, probably not long after I got to the orphanage, that I was his. He knew and decided to leave me in the orphanage. Alone.

I was sure that the pause Laguna was leaving was to see if I was going to respond but instead I kept staring, not knowing what to say or do. This conversation was slowly slipping away from anything I thought it would be. My expectations were an overexcited man going full dad mode trying to make up for years, but it was starting to sound more like an explanation for not _wanting_ to be there. And not just for me, but for Sis, Ellone, too. Without me interjecting, Laguna eventually continued with a sigh.

"I understand if you're angry. I'm not going to make excuses or act like what I did was necessarily right. It's what I chose to do to try and give the two of you the best life. I wanted to go see you, you and Elle, but before I knew it years had passed and you both showed up in Esthar."

Laguna suddenly got nervous again and rubbed at his cramping leg. I worked on steadying my breathing, still not sure what to say, if I was going to say anything at all. There was only a slight bit of humor trickling into my mind on the words Laguna was saying. As much as I liked both Matron and Cid, being raised to be a child soldier wouldn't be the choice I'd choose given a second opportunity. And for a long time, Seifer and I were alone. We didn't know how to behave let alone how to support one another and process how our lives were unfolding. Any adults in our lives were authority figures and the other students at Garden treated us like delicate set pieces when we were little instead of giving any support. With only a hint of nerves in his voice, Laguna pressed on.

"And now our jobs are conflicting. Any sort of conflict of interest and we're both in trouble. The commander of the world's most elite fighting force and the president of Esthar having any attachment is going to cause a political nightmare. It's why I requested different SeeDs. I think it would be best if we just keep this quiet and I can give you whatever you want."

I didn't really know what was going on anymore. I understood the logic and reasoning behind what Laguna was saying, it was part of the many reasons why I was on the fence to initiating this conversation. But to have been told that I was very strongly not wanted and being given a proposition to compensation, it was more than I had accounted for. For one of the first times in my life I felt entirely steam rolled in a conversation, even Rinoa's seemingly random outbursts and accusations had never been this much of a shock. My body was numb, and I hesitantly nodded with a short and quiet "yeah", not sure what I was agreeing to but not having the will to ask what.

Laguna let out a breath, seemingly of relief. While my thoughts were spinning, he seemed to be much more relaxed and content with my response. He stood up from the couch while I took an extra minute to process. He spoke to me with a chipper tone to his voice, looking like he lost the tiredness that was on his face before.

"Great! I had some paperwork drafted up since I thought you'd agree. I'm pretty nifty getting this all done beforehand! I'll transfer you some funds and if there's anything else you'd like you let me know!"

 _'What?'_ What I'd like is to have had this conversation gone completely differently, to have what I expected and what I hoped was going to happen, happen. Ironic how I used to be the one to say not to get your hopes up. I knew better, but with all the hype and the wondrous raving opinions others had on Laguna, I let myself get carried away. I ended up putting a large part of my heart and emotion on the line only to end up having my expectations shattered.

People were not the same to others as they are to their family. This sounded like a business deal, like some bad nightmare I was in, like I was being traded off my rights to any sort of family for money and -whatever else I wanted-. With the upset this conversation was causing, my brows furrowed together, and I could sense that I was going to need to regain my neutrality before I said something stupid. Unfortunately, just like the hope for this conversation, that idea had been quickly dashed.

"I'd prefer the Ragnarok." I deadpanned in the snarkiest tone I could muster, which considering my range of visible emotion, wasn't much. Somewhere in the furthest depth of my being, I had attempted humor to cope with this unreal scenario. The Ragnarok was the one thing Esthar officials had made extremely clear was not up for debate. I could tell the point and ridiculousness of the statement was lost on Laguna when he chirped back at me with a smile.

"I can make that happen."

I felt myself blinking repeatedly in exasperation. The GFs junctioned to me were also reeling. Of those, Diablos and Bahamut were sneering into my mind, whispering back and forth to one another about how humans treated each other. It had been clear that the Ragnarok was Esthar property and after my mission was complete that it would fall out of Garden hands and back to Esthar, and just like that allegedly she was mine. I felt sick to my stomach, I needed to get out of this place.

"I'm going to grab some rest."

"Oh! It's late! Do you want me to escort you out?"

I shook my head as I got up to stand and start walking out. I didn't even look at Laguna as I made my way to the door and he piped up again.

"Goodnight, Squall. Stay docked in the Airstation tonight, I'll have the paperwork to you by morning."

By the time I had made it out of there my Guardian Forces had started to intervene. I started to feel cold, and as I was walking back to the Ragnarok I could notice people getting ice burns as they bumped into me. It was keeping me present in the moment, and I could hear Shiva in the back of my mind muttering that people needed to get out of the way. I didn't unjunction Quezacotl from the Ragnarok once I got to her. If Quezacotl wanted to electrocute Laguna in the morning, I wasn't going to stop her.

* * *

Laguna let out a sigh as Squall left. That conversation was exhausting for both parties, though in Laguna's perspective it had gone much better than he had ever hoped for. He had figured that Squall would want to be left alone, everything he had heard about the stoic teen had implied he wanted nothing to do with anyone other than himself and he seemed no different with the short, cold answers that evening.

With the idea of going to bed himself, Laguna made his way from the living space into the kitchen, where access to a hallway was where bedrooms and other areas were located. It was only when he heard a noise that Laguna jumped and grabbed the closest spatula to defend himself with.

"You didn't really let him speak." A smooth, velvety voice piped up.

"Ehh, he didn't seem to be up for much speaking." Laguna quipped back to his friend. Kiros sat unimpressed at the island in the kitchen, unable to be seen from the room the president had just come from. Eavesdropping may have been rude, but Kiros took it on himself to monitor Laguna whether his friend liked it or not, never knowing what threats would come to the other man in the political position he was in.

"Laguna, as your friend, I will tell you you're being unfair. You kept talking, offered him a proposition, and then jumped on it when he didn't interrupt you. When I fetched you to tell you Squall was here you said you'll leave what happens up to him. If you wanted to know what he wanted, you should have asked him."

"Was it that bad?"

A guilty look was in Laguna's eyes when he looked at Kiros. There had never been any malice intended, and both men knew that Laguna was a terrible communicator to begin with let alone when he was nervous. Kiros sighed at Laguna's question.

"Have a two-sided conversation with him when you bring him those papers in the morning."

"Will do!"

The high-spirited reply came with a look of skepticism from Kiros. As much as the man wanted to believe Laguna would have a real conversation, it was highly improbable.


	2. Goodnight, Dad

This and the next two chapters were meant to be one. Smashing over 15,000 words into one chapter didn't seem like a good idea so it was split up. The benefit, you get an additional two end tidbits! Enjoy!

 **Goodnight, Dad**

 _'Squall. Squall, wake up. Squall!'_

My eyes snapped open at the sound of Quezacotl's voice in my head and the thundering boom of the last snap in her tone. I looked up to the view of the corridor above and the wide-open view of what was more of a storage bay of the ship. Underneath me was a sleeping, large, three-headed dog that I immediately recognized as Cerberus, having summoned himself at some point in the night. It wasn't the worst bed I slept on, though it would get grumpy if I woke it up.

 _'What's up, Quezy?'_

 _'There's someone here to see you…'_

She trailed off into a hiss. That was enough to both tell me who it was and that I had slept through my alarm. Considering the time I had went to bed, the later wasn't a surprise, and with having to stay docked till Laguna got there in the morning, it was somewhat acceptable.

I carefully and cautiously moved off my new mattress. It grumbled a few times and I had a singular eye glare at me, but overall Cerberus either stayed asleep or immediately went back to sleep after I had woken him up. As I made my way to the exit, I put in minimal effort to not look so disheveled.

"Morning!"

I stared at Laguna expectantly and without any indication of gracing him with a reply or acknowledgement to his statement. It would still be bedtime if I had had the chance. I was a morning person, but this particular morning wasn't doing it for me.

"I have these for you." Laguna offered a small stack of papers which I snatched out of his hands without a second thought. He didn't seem as chipper and looked like there was something wrong, but I'd be damned if I was asking any questions about it and get a story. It was the beginning of my morning and I'd already had enough of Laguna in my day. However, when he didn't budge to leave, I realized I was going to hear it regardless.

"I wanted to ask you if this is what you want." The man fidgeted slightly.

No. I wasn't sure on what I wanted but it wasn't this. I didn't need money or a ship in return for being related to someone. I already was being paid ridiculous amounts from Garden and had more than I'd ever use. The Ragnarok was an attempt at passive aggressiveness gone wrong. But, saying any of that wasn't worth it. It didn't matter what I wanted, Laguna hadn't wanted anything to do with me when I was younger, and it was clear with how excited he had gotten on accepting his terms that that was a constant theme. Saying anything now would just lead to a longer conversation full of disappointment and hurt.

"Yes."

My tone sounded cold even coming from me. I felt ice on my fingertips inside my gloves and silently wished I hadn't given Ifrit to Seifer in secret as an attempt to keep the blond from getting assassinated by some random kid trying to play hero. As much as Shiva and Ifrit disliked each other, they kept each other in check.

I began to look through the papers as Laguna started to babble on about how he wanted to make sure I was okay with everything. Whatever he needed to do to make himself feel better. On top were the papers for the Ragnarok. Somehow, in the span of a night he had managed to transfer her over to my name, bill of sale and receipt both present in the ownership papers. I was slightly impressed before I heard a snappy voice in my head.

 _"If he wants to do something, he does it. No excuses."_

Not what I needed to hear from my GFs. I shuffled the papers underneath the stack, looking at what was below. It was a money transfer and receipt, as to be expected from the conversation the night before, but the amount was not. It took a rather large amount of willpower not to blurt out the 'holy shit' I was thinking.

There in large, bold, scribbly handwriting was 1,000,000,000 gil. I became a Gillionaire overnight. Could put that on and scratch that off my bucket list at the same time all the while getting that creeping feeling of disgust. I stood there staring at it partially in shock before willing myself to concentrate on what the man in front of me, looking at him and listening to what he had to say.

"-not like I meant to keep talking without letting you interject. I'm doing it again, aren't I? Okay, I'll stop talking and you start."

I stared into his green eyes for a few moments before finding any words to say. Laguna looked like he could die on the spot and I was starting to wonder if I should have been paying attention to what he was saying. Too late for that now. Whatever the point of the conversation had been had left Laguna's mouth a long time ago and I had missed it.

"I don't need this."

I offered, and I was surprised at how hoarse my voice sounded, the tiredness having had crept into it. Laguna looked perplexed before he realized I was speaking about the gil, looking down before rubbing his head.

"I wasn't sure how much you wanted or needed so I went with a safe bet. Keep it. Donate it to charity. It's up to you."

He rose his head up at the end with a smile. A defeated smile that I didn't understand. I should have been paying attention, but I figured I was too far in to ask him to repeat what he had been saying or what it was about. As the seconds ticked by I was starting to muster up the resolve to ask, but just as things had gone earlier with Laguna, the man started speaking again before I could get a word in edgewise.

"You know, you haven't taken a day off since you started dealing with this Lunar Cry situation, you should take a few days to figure things out. The army will handle any problems that come up."

A genuine smile followed, to which I nodded to, losing my focus from the topic from before. Laguna moved too fast in a conversation for me to keep up or to pick up on all the social cues. It was exhausting. A break to go see Rinoa would be great, though by now she'd be in Deling and not Garden. I started to walk towards the elevator for the bridge, leaving the other there with a stupid expression on his face before he sighed and gave a "I guess that's that" while he turned to leave.

I situated myself in the pilot's seat before calling to Quezacotl in my mind, throwing the papers onto the passenger seat beside me. I'd put them away later.

 _'Quez, close the door. I want you to overload any circuits in the ship that would be potential tracking devices and then pilot to Deling City.'_

If the Ragnarok was mine, I wasn't going to keep anyone aware about where she, or I, was located. She was downgraded from military weapon to a personal jet, so I was going to make her a bit more to my tastes over time. I felt Quezacotl's agreeance to what I had said before I heard her speak in my mind.

 _'I will do what I can. If there are any complications I will call for you.'_

I gave an audible humph of agreeance before taking the Ragnarok into the air. Auto-pilot was safe enough for the thunder GF to handle, but landings and takeoff were much trickier. Once the jet was in the air, I strode out of the bridge, aiming to get back to the area where Cerberus was still sleeping. The flight would take hours from Esthar and with the timezone change there was no point in staying awake. It was a 14-hour difference and if it was going to be a 5-hour flight, I'd still get there before 11pm and I was tired enough to go back to bed a second time.

Cerberus gave a grumble and a stretch as I walked into the compartment. His middle head, Ber, give me a sleepy look and a yawn before closing his eyes again. Rus, left-hand side head was drooling and had his tongue out while Cer was snoring. They worked in conjunction, but each had their own quirks and personality. It was a package of three extra opinions for one GF, which sometimes was more of a regret than a positive. I huddled in beside Rus, putting some extra distance between myself and the snoring before drifting back off to sleep.

I woke up to a low rumbling beside me. The Ragnarok was still whizzing through the air, but I could tell she was going slower than she normally would be. Cerberus was arguing between itself on whether and how they were going to wake me up and were growling to one another. Upon sensing that I was awake beside them, albeit drowsy, the three heads turned towards me. Only Rus was about to see me in the position I was in, buddle up to the beasts' arm, and vice versa, but the effect was the same. He happily growled to me.

"We're approaching Deling City. We've been discussing if we should land."

Moving to get up, I shot the three heads a scowl. I wasn't following why we wouldn't land.

"Why?"

Cer growled in response this time, visibly unhappy with whatever the conversation had been about. I'd about had it up to here with how moody these GFs were getting today. They meant well, but sometimes it was a bit much.

"We stay hidden. Less curious eyes," Cer gave a scowl back to me, "and less people trying to hound you."

It was a fair point, I liked it. Since the war had ended I was made out to be this war hero and in a place like Deling City that wasn't about to go unnoticed when the ship landed. Now that there was no tracking on the Ragnarok it would be reasonable to keep her out of sight and out of mind, but the issue remained that I needed to get down on the ground.

 _'I will fly you down.'_

Bahamut offered. I face palmed. What I was doing with the GFs, letting them have free reign, was not Garden procedure. The war had gone by quickly enough and with so much going on at once it never came up, but before I became a SeeD I would leave the Garden between classes to let Quez and Shiva have their own space. I needed mine, so I figured they needed theirs. It was why these certain GFs clung to me, Bahamut having a fear of humans and the rest not being fond of them for their respective reasons. But, doing so led to the possibility that GFs could leave and go rogue. They could summon themselves and kill their caster. If anyone saw Bahamut being used for a purpose other than battle it would be a much larger problem than any crowd. Undoubtedly, that was the cause for debate.

 _'No. We'll land a distance out from the city and I'll use haste to make my way in faster.'_

 _'As you wish.'_

A rumble from Bahamut came in reply. As I moved to the bridge, Cerberus dismissed itself from this realm, settling back into my mind comfortably. I took control of the ship over from Quezacotl, bringing down the Ragnarok and once it was on the ground, started my stride towards Caraway's house. As the GFs had predicted, there were various people who were staring at me, but I did what I could to ignore them. I had one mission on my mind, to see Rinoa. I wanted to hear her voice, to see her smile.

I glared and walked past the guard that was stationed in front of Caraway's house. He knew better than to refuse me entry. With the defeat of the sorceress, Caraway was once again one of the generals of the Galbadian military and security to get onto his property was normally tight.

Two knocks was all it took before I had a bouncy brunette answer the door, decked out in a loose baby blue overshirt on top of a black tank top and dark skinny jeans. I figured she'd be awake. For all that I was a morning person, Rinoa was a night owl. Her eyes lit up when she saw me, and I got the full force of her lunging into me. I held onto her tight in an embrace. Moments like these with Rinoa where when I felt wanted. For all the bickering and arguments that we had, she made me feel like I could take on the world.

"Squall! What are you doing here?"

Rinoa spoke with an excited but worried tone when she pulled away from me. She knew I shouldn't be here, and I could almost see the thought running through her head that I had quit SeeD. I shrugged at her and responded flatly.

"I got time off."

She flashed another smile at me, genuinely happy that to find out that I did not in fact abandon my duties, even if it would have been for her. Rinoa had a happy sparkle in her eye and as she invited me in, she continued.

"I missed you."

We walked inside and I caught myself grabbing her, looking her in the eye while running my thumb across her cheek. I was about to lean down and kiss her when the sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted us and my head snapped to attention. Caraway was standing in a doorway just off from the entrance. It was no secret that Caraway and I did not get along, but for Rinoa's sake, I would try to be civil. Truthfully, I didn't get along with a lot of adults, but that was beside the point. I nodded to the man in acknowledgement and he did the same.

"Are we finishing our movie?"

Caraway was demanding an answer from Rinoa, obvious that he didn't care if I was joining them or not. She gave a quick "yep" to him before dragging me with her to the movie room where a too-large tv was paused on a movie I could already tell was not what I was interested in watching. It looked like a romance, but I'd sit through it. I was wired from the nap I had had and the timezone difference. Rinoa sat on a couch, pulling me to sit beside and close to her before she spoke, signaling to the ever-present Caraway to not unpause yet.

"Did you go see Laguna?"

I looked away from her then. I expected her to ask considering she was making an effort with her own father, but my mind was still numb from earlier and my body was basically running on auto-pilot. It wasn't a subject I was interested in sharing. I just wanted to enjoy the evening with her.

"Yes."

"How did it go?"

I shrugged at her again and shook my head.

"I got time off."

Rinoa made a pout. That wasn't the answer she was looking for. Her brows were furrowed at me and I silently prayed to Hyne that she would drop the subject because it was going to turn into another argument. I didn't want that to begin with but in front of Caraway, definitely not. She whined at me.

"You know what I mean."

Sighing, I defaulted back to whatever answers where at the back of my mind. This also wasn't something I wanted to explain in front of Caraway.

"I'm not in the mood to talk about it."

She raised a brow at me, looking like a sad puppy before giving up and avoiding touching me. Caraway was staring and I began to get uncomfortable in the minute that passed till he resumed the movie. It was thankfully a romantic comedy, but it was still corny as ever. By the time it was over, Rinoa was already starting to fall asleep. Her day had already been much longer than mine, where I had already started the next day and gained time, her day had just become longer instead. No matter how hard she tried to stay up to adjust her body to the time difference she was done.

Caraway flashed me a death glare as I went to wake Rinoa up. I expected either to sleep in a different room or to head back to the Ragnarok that night, but I wanted Rinoa to be the one to decide that, not Caraway. I knew what he would pick. Her big doe eyes looked at me and she flashed me a sleepy smile as she got up. I was surprised that she bypassed me immediately and went to Caraway instead, opting to give him a sleepy hug while she spoke to him in a happy voice.

"I'm going to head to bed. Thanks for watching with me. Goodnight, Dad."

"Goodnight, Rin. Sleep well."

I raised a brow at that. I had never heard Rinoa call him that before or even refer to him as 'dad'. As hard as I tried to avoid it, I felt a pang of jealousy and resentment towards Rinoa run through me. He smiled at her and Rinoa turned to face me, holding her hand out so that I would take it and follow her. Caraway stood up as I did and I could feel the coldness coming off of him. Protective dad mode had activated and the glare he was giving could rival my own.

"I expect you'll be sleeping in separate rooms."

"Of course." I nodded to the older man. His face softened towards me, but his tone was still wary.

"Goodnight, Squall."

"Goodnight."

I followed Rinoa out of there after that, leaving Caraway to his own devices. Now, I wasn't a fool. I knew what I was walking into. Rinoa does not just drop things. She will stew on them and make them a larger issue than they need to be, but she doesn't drop them. So, as we were walking upstairs towards a guest bedroom, I steeled myself for the firestorm that was about to hit. Once the door was shut, she turned to me with all the tiredness gone from her face, replaced by determination.

"What happened with Laguna? Did you even go see him?"

Opening my mouth to answer, I considered my options and promptly shut my mouth. I had two options, I could tell her I didn't go see him, she would be angry, I could tell her I wanted to see her instead and I needed time. Much cleaner, much less drama, and I could convince myself nothing happened. Or, I could be honest, talk about something I didn't want to, and then proceed to be coddled and pitied. Neither option was too tempting, so I went with the truth.

"I saw him."

As I paused, Rinoa put her hands on her waist expectantly. She wasn't going to interject or interrupt, she was giving me the time I needed to gather my thoughts into words, but she didn't look happy about it.

"He…" I started before looking down and swallowing hard, I didn't want to give this words. Rinoa's eyes flickered more to worry than to the firey determination of getting the answer she wanted. With a steadying breath, I pushed myself to start again, surprised at how unconfident my voice came out.

"He wants nothing to do with me."

Rinoa strode over to me, the pity strong in her eyes. I hated it. She cupped her hands around my face and spoke softly.

"I'm sorry…"

I shook my head, careful not to upset her hands.

"It's not your fault."

"I never expected that. Laguna's so nice and welcoming. I still remember when we came back from Time Compression and he started giving me gifts from Odine's wares, just in case I ever wanted to test out my magic on them, and that I'd always be welcome in Esthar. No worries on being sealed." She chuckled at the memory before continuing and I saw a flicker run through her eyes. "Are you sure?"

The amount my brows furrowed and the scowl that appeared on my face was completely out of my control. What? I didn't even realize it was a question till I computed it for a second after being slightly confused on why I was being told how nice Laguna was, again, which is what gave me false hope to begin him.

"He told me."

"Yeah but he's too nice to do that. Did you walk out on him without giving him a chance?"

I understood why she asked the question, but considering I already was in a bad mood from said topic occurring the night before, or night of if you're going by day, I wasn't having it. Rinoa had this new fire in her eye and whatever this feeling in that was in my chest was starting to choke me and didn't feel good at all.

"No."

Rinoa tilted her head to the side, expectantly. Maybe if the conversation with Laguna had gone how I expected it, this exact conversation would have happened, and she would have been right, but that wasn't the case. She knew me too well, but she didn't know Laguna. It was an impossible argument for me to win. Most were, but this one especially so.

"I walked out, but after he had said he didn't want me there."

She shook her head. I was facing the judge, jury, and council.

"Did he specifically say he didn't want to be your father?"

I gaped. I didn't realize he needed to say it outright and my answer was greeted by an eyeroll.

"Not specifically."

"I think you should go back and talk to him."

Rinoa was stern and she wasn't taking no for an answer and she wasn't about to start listening to any other reasoning I had. I could tell her I got paid off and guaranteed that would be pinned on me too. Suddenly, I felt even more like shit than when I had left for Deling City. She was taking his side without realizing what his side was. I wanted to get out of here. Everything, everything for the past month had been a fight, had been my fault. I came to see this woman to relax and feel better and it was anything but. When it rained, it poured.

"Okay, I'll go."

I started heading out the room and Rinoa was following behind. All she did was fuel the fire.

"I wouldn't have asked if I thought you'd do this. I thought you'd put some effort into it. I'm putting effort in over here!"

"I did! Unlike your father for you, mine wants nothing to do with me. He's not going to call me over to try and reach out to me or for movie nights."

We had both raised our voices and at this point we were in the entrance way and Caraway had peeped out to see what was going on. I was in distress and the earlier jealousy and resentment I had was coming out. Rinoa had noticed both Caraway and the jealousy present because as I had swung around to face her with my last rebuttal, she took a deep breath and looked away from me.

"Just go."

I looked away from her too and pinched the bridge of my nose. This wasn't how I wanted to leave. I sighed and turned around, aiming for the door and back out to the Ragnarok. I wasn't going to stay here after that, it would just fuel the fire and make Rinoa furious.

When I got back to the Ragnarok I went straight up to the bridge. The screen flickered at me, August 3rd, 2:45pm EST. I could fly back, I'd have just missed sunset. But, I also didn't want to go back to Esthar yet, preferably not Garden or anything work related either. I was supposed to be having days off. An icy voice made itself known an suggested an option.

 _'Why don't you check up on Ifrit? It's been 3 months.'_

 _'He'd have to deal with the weak fool attached.'_

Diablos was quipping back at Shiva, unintrigued by the idea of going to see Seifer. I didn't even know if I could find him. After the trial, to which Seifer was pardoned under to condition that he was completely unarmed, Hyperion and his Guardian Forces were taken away from him. I gave him Ifrit afterwards, passing him by and giving him nothing more than a touch when I saw him after everything had been unjunctioned from him. Nobody would be none the wiser as long as no one checked what GFs I had equipped and the idiot didn't make his junctioning known. It would be embarrassing to have a rival up and die from being mugged or the like.

However, Hyperion was supposed to be melted down. The Garden staff knew better than to leave the blade in one piece, Seifer would come back for it. I was perfectly fine with it happening till I pulled out Lionheart hours before the blade was supposed to be melted. If something happened to Lionheart I would be devastated. My entire childhood and life had gone into that gunblade. With that, I knew that I was doing could get me fired, but I genuinely believed Seifer would do the same for me. I picked up Hyperion at the smelter, flashed that I was the commander at SeeD, stuck a tracking chip on it, wrapped it up nice and tight with a note saying the chip was on it but only I could track him and that I would kill him slowly and painfully if he ever let anyone know about Ifrit or Hyperion, and had it left at where Seifer was staying. Seifer vanished after that. The likelihood of the tracking chip being left on Hyperion was about zero.

 _'You could try. You could spar and not think about any of this.'_

That was a comforting thought. Shiva had known that was all it would take to convince me. Monsters were getting boring, it would be nice to have a real spar. It would also beat talking to Rinoa or Laguna or the other option or me thinking to myself for the next couple of days, alone and in a state of self-pity.

But when a location was pinpointed when I put in the frequency of the chip into the Ragnarok, I couldn't help but be shocked regardless of what I wanted. I took my bird into the air.

* * *

Leonhart. I had just been drug out of one of Balamb Garden's disciplinary rooms, cuffed and with guards on either side of me. The staff had graciously decided to wipe all my magic and guardian forces to keep me from 'being a threat'. I wanted to laugh in their faces but when I started that cold icy glare had pierced through the temptation and squashed it. He looked like he was trying to threaten me. As an expert Squall reader, I shut my mouth and expected him to show up later to glare at me so I could interpret what he was saying.

What I hadn't expected was for my one and only rival to swoop by me as we came to a stop, the guards checking on whatever they needed to give me one last push out of what used to be my home and say good riddance. He went behind me and brushed my hand as he walked by. My face went stoic. If Leonhart making physical contact without Lionheart wasn't enough to send me into a heart attack, the firey sensation he left on my hand and the roar that appeared in my head was. It kept grumbling to me as it spoke.

 _'I'm here to keep you alive human, nothing more, nothing less. You show anyone I am here and I will do everything in my power to kill you and let you be killed.'_

That would be Ifrit. An alright Guardian Force, nothing near like what Ultimecia had given me during the war, but I wasn't complaining if Leonhart was offering him up. Having Griever attached got to be a bit much anyways and when time compression hit it sucked he was gone but the GF was almost as sentimental as Squall. And he seemed to know Squall too, and liked him a lot, talking about shared sparing session Squall and I had, mostly the ones which I had lost which of course would be what he would tell a GF, and other moments that hadn't even happened yet. The faculty had already taken away Hyperion so other than this fire beast, I pretty much had nothing.

 _'Watch your tongue, I am GF, not a beast.'_

 _'Ehhh, you look pretty beastly.'_

Ifrit roared back to me and a pang of fire ran down my spine as the guards finally uncuffed me and sent me on my way. I would have to get that under control, damn Leonhart and letting his GFs have free run to do what they wanted, Ifrit was fighting my attempts at keeping him contained like a Guardian Force should be. I threatened to tattle on him as part of the disciplinary committee for that, but when I saw him smile, or mouth twitch which meant he actually felt some emotion close to being happy, when Shiva was showing off some of her martial art moves in her dancing or how Quezacotl would fiddle with portable study panels out in their secret area away from Garden, I couldn't do it. And he knew it. Every time I threatened he called bullshit on me. It led to a fight, but that's what I wanted anyways.

As I made it back to my temporary lodging in Balamb, I made my resolve to get out of here. I wanted to stick around Raijin and Fuijin, but none of the townspeople wanted me here, that was obvious. No point in staying around, I'd go find some little town and be the hero they aspire to be. My face wasn't plastered everywhere so it had exist. My romantic dream was gone, no matter what Griever had continuously said otherwise, but I could still have a noble dream. The package that was waiting for me when I opened the door steeled my resolve. Inside the letter was written:

 _Seifer._

 _I put a tracking chip on her, but I'm the only one with the frequency. If you fuck me over, I'll kill you. Slowly._

 _Squall_

A smirk split across my face as I opened it up to reveal Hyperion. Leonhart was something else. Garden would strip him of his GF and weapon if they found out, but he didn't give two fucks. People thought he was such a goody goody, but deep down inside he was a rebel just like me. I was thankful for it, Hyperion meant the world to me. I'd have to pay him back somehow. Or maybe not, I'd leave the chip on it so he could find me. And when he decided to show his face I'd whoop him in a spar and then decide if I'd repay his little act of kindness by decreasing my asshole level by a few points.


	3. You're not a Mistake

This probably the chapter I enjoyed writing the most other than the very last chapter of this story. It's sort of when I knew I had something coming together that wasn't just a dramatic one shot or just another crazy SxS fic. Enjoy!

 **You're Not a Mistake**

Seifer's ping was located on the Thor Peninsula region of Trabia in a backwater town that I didn't know existed or had any idea what the name was. It was thankfully in the same time zone I was used to, EST. However, the daylight hours and the temperature were much different.

Even if I had somehow managed to get there before 8pm, there wouldn't have been any sign of light. It was already freezing during the night and the sky was beginning to show hints that it wanted to snow. With Shiva, the cold didn't bother me much, but I wasn't about to start being stupid and go out in my usual attire. I made a note to grab my coat on the way out.

I spent a good fifteen minutes trying to pry myself from the bridge, from the window overlooking this town. Either I needed to get sleep inside the Ragnarok or land. My body was screaming for a real bed and I wouldn't be seeing Seifer till the following day. I had hoped that in Deling City I would have been able to stay with Rinoa, but that hope had been dashed, and truthfully, I was rather shook from the event. I didn't want the Ragnarok in sight here, I didn't want anyone wondering why or looking into why I was here.

 _'My offer still stands.'_

Bahamut interrupted my thoughts. Under the cover of night, the chances of Bahamut being seen were slim. I wouldn't be able to get back to the ship till the next evening when Bahamut could bring me back. It wasn't a risk I wanted to take, but it was the best option I had. The dragon was too large to fit inside the ship, so I would have to jump and hope he caught me. The king of dragons laughed.

 _'If I wanted to kill you you'd already dead.'_

Point taken. I looked over the papers that were in the seat beside me one last time as I put them into a drawer close to the pilot's seat. For now that was the best place for them to be seeing how the Ragnarok was my most permanent residence. Then, I made my way over to the exit of the Ragnarok, leaving Quezacotl in charge of the jet and keep her high enough up to be away from sight after I had left. It was low enough that breathing wouldn't be much of an issue while Bahamut was taking me down, just the splattering at the bottom if he decided it would be more humorous to let me fall. Diablos had wings, but relative body size would make our landing more of a crash. I opened the door and away I went.

I was falling fast, too fast. I was starting to panic as Bahamut didn't appear and I could hear him roaring with laughter in my head.

 _'Bahamut!'_

Calling out to him, I was greeted with more laughter. Shiva and Cerberus were yelling while Diablos was snickering. The ground was getting larger. My heart was starting to beat out of my chest. What an embarrassing way to die. I can kill an ultimate sorceress from the future, but my GFs play a game and I die.

 _'Bahamut! Now, Bahamut!'_

At what seemed like the last second the roaring laughter left my head and the dragon manifested, his arms and claws wrapping around me, keeping my chest to his. He was still snickering as I tried to steady my breathing and he rumbled in my ear.

"Why were you afraid? I said I do not want you dead."

I looked up towards him, I realized he was testing me. Both testing me and getting some humor of his own with a sly sheen in his eyes. The other GFs had been junctioned to me throughout the war, but Bahamut had joined me after, choosing to be no longer compatible with anyone else as the rest of my GFs had. There was not near as much trust there as there should have been. And trust in the past few months had become a rare commodity. By losing contact with everyone other than Rinoa even I was noticing I was starting to close off again.

"I see."

Bahamut growled softly, landing and putting me down in one swift motion. He stayed there for a while standing on his hind two legs with his wings keeping him stable till I gave him a nod with a "thank you" and he flew off. Unless I needed him or someone saw him, Bahamut was free to roam the skies as he pleased till I was back. All the GFs were, but they would come and go as they pleased to make sure there was at least one of them junctioned at all times in case something happened.

The town was completely desolate, an extreme change from Esthar and Deling City. The hotel and minishop signs were the only things that went above two floor buildings. It reminded me of Winhill and the small-town atmosphere they had there. With any luck, the hotel would be just as nice.

And it sort of was. The hotel consisted of someone turning the upstairs part of their house into useable suites. The were two to choose from, east facing or west facing. To get a view of the sunrise in the morning, I chose east, dropped a few gil, and the girl at the front counter, who looked no older than 16, gave me the key.

When I strode out to get to the separate entrance I felt someone following me. In a small town like this, if I had to wager a guess, it was either a drunk or Seifer. Neither one was a threat. I wanted to feel a real bed against my muscles and grab some food from whatever this hotel had lying around and be done with the night. But when I went to go unlock the door to my suite, suddenly whoever it was that was following sprinted up beside me and drawled out.

"I could get you in a whole pile of trouble, pretty GF though."

In all his smiling glory stood Seifer, inches away from me and now leaning on the side of the building dressed clad in his usual gear, minus the coat. The lack of coat made me want to shiver for him. I gave him a single glance before I unlocked the door, choosing then to turn to face him.

"What do you want, Seifer?"

Seifer mocked hurt and looked partly offended at that, relying back in dramatics. He was so extra it made me want to roll my eyes.

"You didn't come here for me?" He dropped his dramatics before continuing. "What the hell did you come here for, Leon?"

I blinked at that, that nickname was new. Sounded better than Hart, close to lion, so I had to give him that if nothing else. I was about to answer when he cut me off, cocky as ever.

"What? Don't like the new nickname?"

At my extra blink in surprise, Seifer started to laugh. I had forgotten how well he could read me. No matter how stone face I could get, Seifer had over 15 years of experience reading my face and there wasn't much that slipped by him. I sighed at the thought before I replied. I hesitated but there was no point telling Seifer to go home now. Even if I didn't, he wouldn't leave.

"Better than some of the names you came up with…we'll talk inside."

The blond followed me in, taking off his boots behind me as I did the same and shed my coat. The room was roomy and warm. On the south wall there was a queen size bed, dressed in white sheets and adorned by a headboard that matched the night tables beside it. Opposite it was an armoire and a minibar beside it. The armoire matched the bed and had a vase full of flowers sitting on top of it. The washroom was closer to the entrance, on the south side of the room and contained the necessities.

I strode over to the fridge, I was starving. I hastily grabbed something out and left the fridge to plunder in my spoils. But, the shriek that erupted from the other man in the room was enough to get me to stop dead in my tracks.

"Do you know how expensive those things are?"

Seifer had the look of horror on his face and I shrugged. Gil was the least of my concerns, though the scowl at that realization did not go unnoticed and the blond tilted his head in question. I piped up just to knock that look of focused curiosity off of his face, I wanted to avoid said topic.

"Drinking age in Trabia is 18, right? Grab yourself something. It might help the shock."

With his face suspended in disbelief, I strode over to the bed, sitting on it and getting comfortable eating my spoils of beef jerky. It wasn't the greatest, but it wasn't the worst either. Seifer huffed and went and grabbed himself a beer after a few seconds had passed, but the curiosity had unfortunately remained.

"What's going on, Leonhart?"

I shrugged at him again. He could read my face, but he couldn't read my shoulders. And as if he had caught on to that he squinted comically at my face, standing only a few feet away from me. Confidently, he stopped squinting, smirked, and raised his bottle up in cheers before putting in an accusation.

"You came to see me because you're having problems and I'm the next best thing to a best friend." I felt my face twitch at that and I cursed inwardly at myself when the blond gapped happily and blurted out, "Holy shit! I was guessing!"

My face skipped scowl and went straight to glare. I was beginning to remember why I avoided Seifer and in retribution I snatched his drink from him and took a swig. It didn't mix well with the jerky, but I swallowed it down regardless.

"Hey! Babies aren't allowed to drink!"

The seriousness took me off guard, but my glare furthered, and I took another swig to prove a point. The blond took it as a challenge and lunged at me. With one thing in either hand, I was defenseless to stop him and crashed straight down into the bed with Seifer on top of me. He reached as I tried to keep the bottle away from him, yelling "give!" and I was frustrated to admit that Seifer's added height had given longer arms and he snatched it away from me, putting it on one of the night tables.

This prompted me to let go of the jerky in my other hand push Seifer sideways, aiming him to crash down on the floor. At the realization, Seifer grabbed me and I went down with him, landing on top of the larger teen. The fight was on.

The second we hit the ground Seifer yanked at my left arm to throw me off balance. As we switched positions again, I brought my knee up, giving me the leverage against Seifer's superior brute strength. For wrestling I knew I had to play the lithe, slippery game or he'd win every time. Seifer was trying desperately to keep me pinned while getting my knee out of the way. I was fighting back, trying to flip the two of us over again. We spinned. We grabbed. Elbows were thrown. It probably looked like a mess.

To my surprise, Seifer stopped the struggling as much, stared me right in the eyes. The pause and my surprise was enough for him to have wrapped his arms around me and dug his knees into the ground, my arms clung tightly to his chest and my knee digging into his belly. Seifer attempted to lift me up, most likely to try and get rid of the knee problem, and we both tumbled back to the ground once he got about halfway. I was lighter than him, but not by that much.

As we both got to our feet, I lunged at him first this time. Seifer's back hit the wall separating the bedroom and the washroom and he let out a groan. He retaliated by pushing me backwards. In a clumsy mess of I'm not sure what happened to my feet, I fell back and Seifer's momentum carried him straight into the bed. My but thankfully took most of the impact, but my head came only inches away from the minibar.

I took a small pause for that to register and I felt Seifer's hand on my arm, yanking me up. I went up with a tackle, knocking him back on the soft surface he just got up from and rushed to get on top of him again, securing my spot to pin and keep him from moving. I stayed low and for a few seconds Seifer was wriggling to try and get free before he stared at me and cracked a smirk, panting as hard as I was.

"Happy?"

He sounded content and my brows furrowed when I realized I was smiling. I hadn't done that in a while and it took fighting with this idiot to happen. I kept looking at him while I gave a huff of a chuckle, that felt good. I would stay happy if we didn't get a noise complaint from all that. And while I didn't force the smile to go away, I noticed it faded as I moved away from Seifer, turning to contentedness instead.

"Yeah."

It was soft and quiet, but I knew he heard it as I got off him. When Seifer was free from my grasp he strode back up to the minibar and grabbed another beer before offering it to me. At my confusion, the blond shook his head and raised his arms in protest.

"Last I checked the calendar, it was September."

With that, I snatched the liquid from him. Whether it was a congratulatory drink or not, it didn't matter. I had won. Truthfully, the winning didn't matter, the battle was the stress relief, but it felt good to win against Seifer. The fight was what I had come here for.

"So why are you here?"

The blond piped up again, having grabbed his own drink again and settling down beside me. His gaze was fixed on my face, trying to read whatever he could. It was unnerving but relaxing at the same time, even if I didn't say everything he'd clue in. Part of me wanted that and part of me didn't. I didn't want him asking questions, but I didn't want to have to explain much either.

"I came to see you."

I spoke in a matter-of-fact voice to which the blond nodded and rebutted.

"You missed my pretty face?" My scowl had him guessing again. "You wanted to make sure I wasn't doing anything against your terms of service for your generosities?" The eye twitch and extra blink gave it away that he needed to guess again. "I'm actually the least shitty option in your life?"

I took a breath and looked away, as did Seifer. He sighed as he continued.

"Must be bad. I'm not digging on myself, I love my company, but last I checked, you were barely interested in keeping me alive."

That didn't deserve a response. I took another drink of the alcohol and sat in silence beside the blond. The silence that meant Seifer wasn't going to keep prying until I said something. He was an ass, but he knew when to stop. I also knew that he wasn't going to leave unless I asked him to, so we sat.

Slowly but surely we made our way through our drinks, and when we both finished, Seifer got up to grab us both another of a different variety. My stomach was protesting, but I didn't have the energy to grab random piece of jerky that were now strewn out everywhere or to fetch myself another snack. My head was starting to feel dissociated from my body, and my body was warm. If this is what liquid bravery did to people, it was surreal.

Furrowing my brows, I thought of the events that had led up to me being here. The failure of an event that was trying to have a conversation with Laguna. From that standpoint of one sided conversations, that wasn't the worst I've been apart of, but the worst one sided conversation that I attempted to make into a two sided conversation. Then there was Rinoa. Argumentative and stubborn as ever. I was frustrated she didn't take my side. She wasn't willing to hear me out on what happened with Laguna. In her mind it was my fault and what I had originally done to make her happy had backfired violently in my face.

I could feel my head starting to whir with the thoughts and conversations I had had in the past 24 hours. For some reason I was beginning to get upset and I found myself cringing because of it. Seifer had noticed, singular brow raised and curiosity in his eyes as he broke the silence between us.

"Squall?"

I felt obligated to respond back to Seifer. I wasn't sure what to say, but I started talking anyways.

"Do you ever…wonder what it would be like to meet your parents?"

Seifer scowled and searched my face while I stared back at him. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that the blond was wary, he didn't like what he saw, but he answered despite that.

"Occasionally."

"If you got the chance to meet them and they were wonderful people, but then when it comes to them stepping up they would prefer to pay you to be quiet rather than have anything to do with you what would you do?"

When I asked it sounded stupid. I didn't know why I was asking Seifer this. Maybe it was because he was the only one who didn't get adopted at the orphanage, the only one out of the people who were supposed to be close to me that would understand. It looked like the blond was in disbelief and instead of answering, he grabbed my almost-finished drink.

"Okay, Champ, that's enough. You, my friend, are a light-weight."

I stared at him for a few extra seconds before putting my putting my elbows on my knees and slouching down, giving my posture a real run for its money. I could feel Seifer's eyes on me for a while before he decided to ask a question of his own.

"How much did they pay you?"

Flashing him a short glance, I looked back down at the floor. I didn't want to talk about this, why was I talking about this? And yet it was feeling good to get it off my chest.

"Enough to make me part of the top 1%."

Seifer's brows raised and he nodded.

"Wow…Well if you're looking for a charity case, I won't say no."

I huffed at that. There was an appreciation I had for how Seifer was trying to lighten the mood, but it wasn't coming to surface. I was going through literally mind spew. I could hear my GFs talking in the background, but they felt far away, and I had no idea what they were trying to say to me.

"He said he knew. My mom died, and my dad just left me. He didn't want me. He's been trying to talk to Xu to get other SeeD to replace me for the Lunar Cry cleanup. I'm not wanted, and everything seems like a mistake. Me, Rinoa, going to Esthar, SeeD."

My eyes were tearing up, and I cursed, not sure if it voiced or not. Seifer was a cross between mortified and looking like he could murder someone. The blond grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me gently.

"You're not a mistake." I stared into his blue-green eyes, trying to let his words sink in. Hyne knew I needed someone to say it. The eye contact broke when Seifer spoke again, him drifting off in concentration, and my head dropping down to look at the sheets. "I thought the President of Esthar, that Lagoono weirdo was the one on the news for the Lunar C-…Oh. Oh shit."

Seifer's eyes were wide when I looked up at him. He had guessed right, and I knew that whatever was on my face was likely telling him that too. It was then that the mortified look Seifer had had earlier had completely disappeared. He looked like he was about to commit bloody murder and he spoke again before I had the opportunity to ask why.

"People like that can put on really good masks. It's why they're in the public eye, they're politicians. You got more than I would've expected out of that." I felt Seifer's arms around me again, but this time they were dragging me up and onto the bed, fighting with covers all the while. I put in some resistance, it was embarrassing having my rival trying to tuck me in, but my attempts were far weaker and clumsier than what I was sending out to my limbs. "Stop fighting me." The blond grumbled out, and I sighed as I followed his orders.

Instead of using my willpower to fight Seifer, I was focusing on getting comfortable for bed, slipping my shirt off. I had tried to fiddle with my belt buckles, but they were getting far too frustrating to remove so I ended up leaving them and my pants. Seifer had stayed for a while, sitting on the bed beside and I curled up against him, enjoying the body heat of another human being beside me since it had been months since I had had anything of the sort. As I could feel myself falling asleep, the blond got up to leave and I stirred. Seifer knelt by the bed, whispering to me.

"I'll be back. Sleep."

* * *

I was pissed. Sitting beside me was what should have been my rival, strong, blood-boiling, and ready to sock me a good one, breaking down. I expected maybe some Rinoa shit, she got on my nerves. But the second I heard Leonhart say he thought he was a mistake, I lost it. I had wanted to pay Leonhart back, now he was getting my version of kindness.

So when I found out who this fucker was and that I might actually have a chance of talking to him, killing him, or both, my mind was already made up. Nobody made my little brother and only rival cry, nobody except for me. Leonhart might kill me for it, but I was doubtful since he couldn't do it during the war. Ifrit had some lousy words to try and stop me.

 _'Don't you dare.'_

 _'Oh, I'm daring. And if you fight my plan I might just summon you for fun.'_

I had grabbed the keys to Squall's hotel room and I'd be back before morning if the Estharians didn't have anything to say about it. These free running GFs loved Squall, and I would use that to my advantage. Once I got out of the city, I called on Ifrit, not actually planning to summon him but making it look like it so I would draw some attention. Sure as shit, with a roar in the sky, Bahamut the pretty swooped down.

"You will stop at once."

I smiled at the GF, fully aware that it wanted to slice my face off and was growling at me.

"Hey pretty GF, bring me to Esthar and I'll think about it."

The dragon looked even more pissed, but I could tell it was talking it over with its little friends. Either I would die by dragon claw or I would get what I want. These things adored Leonhart too much for there to be any other option.

I found out which option I was getting when the dragon roared at me, teeth bared and lunged. It grabbed me and started ascending as fast as it could. This is where I blacked out, but assumedly not for long because I came to with a bruise starting on my back from where my body had made impact with the inside of the little red ship that had been deemed on the news as the Ragnarok. The door was already closed, and the engines were running, I didn't want to question how. Hyne knowing Squall, he taught Carbuncle how to fly with its little nubs and it was cackling in the pilots' seat as we were speeding through the air.

I stayed where I was till the engines died down and the door opened to the sight of Esthar. I had minimal knowledge of this city, but the taxi-like lifts were simple, announcing where they went. I picked Presidential Palace and hoped that the way back would be just as obvious of a name. The guards of the palace threatened to keep me out to which I sneered at them, puffing out my chest in intimidation.

"I'm the one who came on the Ragnarok, and I need to talk to Lagoono. You're going to let me through."

I don't know how it worked, but it worked, and they nodded for me to go ahead. The one corrected me with 'Laguna', I didn't care. I took the lift up to where this guy supposedly was, my mission being the only focus on my mind. I could see how my knee jerk reaction missions had a chance to get me into trouble in the past. I was too far in to quit now.

"You're not Squall."

A very surprised brunet with questionable wardrobe choices greeted me with that laughable line, I recognized him as my target. I couldn't help but laugh before pinning him to the nearest wall with some fire magic lapping at my arm that was making contact with him.

"Surprise, motherfucker. Now we're going to talk, and if you don't listen, I have no problems with being sent to jail or executed. Trudged that line for a bitch I didn't like, imagine what I'd do for someone I would put my life on the line for."

Lagoono looked visibly nervous and surprised, but not scared as I had hoped. Dude was a solid politician. Movement caught my peripheral vision further down the hall and a dark-skin man watched warily. Lagoono spoke up and asked me rather blandly.

"What do you want?"

"Now, you're going to talk to Leonhart. You're going to tell him what a piece of shit you are. You're going to tell him you're sorry for abandoning him. You're going to tell him he's not a mistake. And then, you're going to stay the fuck away from him."

To which my rage was replied with the most asinine rebuttal I have heard after he gave a 'what the hell' extra couple blinks reaction that obviously had passed down a generation.

"Squall doesn't care."

I squinted into this man's face, trying to understand even a slight fragment of that statement. I nearly went Bahamut and growled at him.

"Really. My little brother doesn't come to me in tears when he doesn't care. And if it happens again, I'll kill you."

I unpinned the man from the wall and took a few steps back. The man further down the hall seemed to relax. Lagoono looked dumbfounded and he was scratching the back of his head.

"Okay, I'll talk to him and do as you say. But, uh, that doesn't sound like you like him just as a little brother."

I did my best impression of Squall and glared at Lagoono before I left. The last part didn't make any sense. Leonhart was my rival and brother, what else could I like him as?


End file.
